Entitlement V.S. Being Worthy

Entitlement- a guarantee of access to benefits or rights or by agreement through law. It also refers in a more casual sense to someones belief that one is deserving of some particular reward or benefit.

Worthy- 1.Having worth, merit, or value; useful or valuable 2. Honorable; admirable 3. Having sufficient worth deserving

Matthew 10:38

And anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

I have been battling in my head last week this topic. I have heard teachings on entitlement not to long ago and it impacted my life, but for the last week entitlement has been creeping back in and I began to pray and God revealed to me be worthy, you are worthy He made me really think and has been speaking VERY LOUDLY about it to me all week and really didn't know where to begin with this topic that God was speaking into my life. Lately I have been really feeling down about wanting someone in my life and wanting a family. I know that it has A LOT to do with Isaac's constant questions of when I am going to get married and have a baby, and even telling who he wants me to marry and that he wants a baby sister. Then finding out that my ex husband's girlfriend is 4 months pregnant and they have been telling Isaac that they have been married since he moved in with her, and since our divorce was just final last month well all know that's not possible. It just makes me think I am entitled to a family of my own!!!! I have been shaking my fist and stomping my feet and throwing a temper tantrum in front of God. Saying if they are doing what they are doing in sin why isn't God blessing me with the desires of my heart? I am entitled to what I have my dreams set on, but at this point God convicted me of my words and said to me, " My daughter yes I know the desires of your heart, but listen to me you are not entitled to them, but you are worthy of them." He went on to speak to me and say, "You are worthy of a Godly man and a Godly family, and with my timing you will have these things of worth, but if you try to rush my timing then you will end up in ruins! OUCH!!!! yes I got a spiritual left hook from God and to be honest with you it took the wind out of me. I know what's right, but sometimes I fall back into worldly thinking like we all do, and it lets the enemy creepy back in and sit on your shoulder and tell you lies, and if we don't recognize it, it will take a hold of us and not let go. I don;t know about you but I don't want the weight of the enemy sitting on my shoulder. So I will continue to pray and know that I am worthy of my fathers love and timing, and what he decides for my life. Because if I am not picking up my cross daily it is showing my God that I am not worthy. If I continue to follow the ways of the Lord and have my cross on my back God will give me the desires of my heart. Last night I went and saw Joyce Meyer and she said something that confirmed my week long revelation:

"ENTER IN THE REST OF GOD AND LET YOUR SOUL GO ON VACATION!!!! "

and you can't change the things that irritate you, so all you can do is pray and sit down!!!!

Well guess what I am going on vacation and know that I am worthy and my God will take care of it all!!!!!!

Confessions of a Godly Wife!!

This year I am claiming that I am a Godly wife even though there is no boyfriend or husband in sight, God is teaching me to rely in him as my husband in this time. There is no time like the present to start confessing the things you want to be, and with this being the love month (thanks Hallmark!!) I am using this time to get close to my God, and have him be my Valentine right now. I am doing this because I know that God has an AMAZING man waiting for me just around the corner, in his timing and guess what? That timing is perfect!!!!!!!!!!! So I am speaking all of this forward in faith!!!

I confess that I am a supportive wife who demonstrates love in the way I approach my husband. He doesn’t see me as a nagging, complaining wife, but as a friend to confide in and to look to for strength. God is able to speak to my husband without my interference. I trust God to speak to him. I trust God to deal with my heart and help me take on a supportive role in our home.

I confess that I live a powerful, godly and chaste life before my husband. Therefore I am a constant encouragement to him. He seeks my advice. He wants my help. He desires to know what I believe is right regarding decisions affecting our family and our relationship. God’s Spirit is changing me and making me the kind of wife that He wants me to be. I declare this by faith, in Jesus’ name.

I confess that the beautifying of my spirit is a high priority in my life. I don’t make the mistake of putting all my time and effort into improving my outward appearance while forgetting to invest in my spirit. I’ve made a decision that my spirit is beautiful. I’m becoming more godly and beautiful all the time. I have an inward beauty that far outshines everything that I could ever do to improve the appearance of my outward man.

I confess I am a source of stability and power. I am a source of peace in my home. I don’t give in to anger. I don’t fly into a rage and say things that I will later regret. My husband and my children depend on me to be a tower of strength even in the midst of turmoil because I am so stable. I help bring stability to my husband, to my children and to the general atmosphere in my home. Instead of being a contributor to strife, conflict and turmoil, God uses me to bring peace and tranquility to all those who are near me. I release my faith now, in Jesus' name.

Isaacism from June

So as you all know my son comes up with things that crack me up DAILY!!! So the other day we were in the pool and Isaac tells me, "Mama I'm Black," I then said "Isaac no you're not." He said, "well someone at school called me black, and my daddy is black" I responded, "honey your dad is puerto rican and I am irish so that makes you irish and puerto rican." Isaac says, "nope I'm black." After telling him about 3 times that he is irish and pueto rican he looks at me very seriously and shouts , " I AM NOT PUERTO RICAN I AM CHRISTIAN!!!!!!" Needless to say I didn't argue anymore with him after that!

Don't Call a Taxi!

Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Near The Goal!!!!
I have come to see that when you're in a race (I did a 5K and a 10K last year, not running but speed walking) it is not the start that hurts or even the miles you walk down a long stretch, it is when you see the end (the goal) in sight. When the goal is spotted is when the heart, nevrves, courage, and muscles are strained beyond anything you can think of and you feel like you're almost at your breaking point. Now at this point you can stop and call a taxi and have them take you home, or you can take a look back and see how much you have acommplished and press forward to make it to your goal. The last week has been so up and down for me and instead of hailing down a taxi and saying 'Vinny (Yes I named the taxi driver) take me back to where I started" (and that would be one HUGE mistake), I chose to press into God even more. I know that my new season is just around the bend and all I have to do is continue to cry out to God with all that I have, I have been training way to long to give up this race and I know that God is right beside be cheering me into victory!! So with this in mind I continue to press into God and reach for the goal, and jump over road blocks and dash past red light if I have to, just to reach the goal that is in sight. Even if my goal is in the distance and I feel like my 10K has turned into a 20K I know that God has a good reason for his timing, and I may be cry out to him that it hurts, but I know that the pain will subside and I will have a nice pretty prize in my hands!!
Today I will walk (or speed walk) to my vicorty!!!!

A day in the life of a single mom

For about the last year Isaac has been asking when I was going to get a new husband, and I always tell him,"honey when God thinks it is a good time he will bring me one." I know this all stems from him seen his dad with someone since he left, so I think in Isaac's little brian he thinks I need to be with someone too. I ensure him that I am ok, and I am taking this time to be with him and for us to do things. He has told me in the past that he needs to sleep in my bed until I get a husband. I know that Isaac needs a GOOD father figure in his life, yes his dad in his life, but he really needs someone to show him the way! So keep in mind that I said before that he has been asking me when God is going to bring me a husband, well the other night we were chilling out on the couch and he looks at me and asks me, "Mom when is God going to bring me a new dad?" That really took me back, I told him just to pray about it an God will bring someone into our life. I also ask Isaac you have a daddy, he said I know, but I want someone to take me fishing and do things like that. So for you single moms out there know that there is someone out there for all of us, and your children will look up to you and know when they are older that you did everything with them in mind. We always have to keep our head up, and push on even when it looks hard there is always a reward at the end of the race, and my next blog will expail what I mean by that.