Something I posted March 2010 and well it has come full circle to todays post GOD IS GOOD!!!!

You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights. Each tear entered in your ledger each ache written in your book. Psalm 56:8 The Message


The last month has been pretty much been a up and down roller coaster of emotions from happy, to sad, to hurt, to joy. You name it I have been on the ride, some rides more bumpy than others. Sometimes I feel like I am at the old state fair and sometimes I feel like I am at Disney. I think you get the picture. It wasn't until today that the 2 main things I have been dealing with kind of just all hit me at once like a ton of bricks and since the time I got up, during my morning prayer time, and till the time I got to work I was crying. During my prayer time today was the first time ever that I got mad at God (yes I asked for forgiveness) I am sure that I made for quite the sight to be driving next to this morning. I questioned him with no answer of course because I wouldn't of been able to handle it at the time and would of just not listened, but I said God, "why?" "why so you bring me though these storms?" and better yet, "why do my storms seem to come together and make bigger storms?" " and why on some days my life is a cake walk with out a cloud in sight?" Yes my life for the past month has been like FL weather wonderful one day then 2 days of rain! So still with no answer, I still remained a little down today, but knowing that God has told me something BIG is about to happen to you and it is going to blow your mind I have kept that close to my heart!!! So this afternoon I turn on the radio and hear Casting Crowns "praise you in this storm" I knew God was speaking to me AT THAT MOMENT!!! It says every tear I cry I hold you hold in your hand! Then that's when I started studying, because I knew that it was in the bible, and BINGO Psalm 56:8 and the funny thing is I have had tossing and turning sleepless nights along with the crying for a month. So now you can see why my little light bulb has gone off now, God finally can speak to me because I am ready and of course it is through music like always!! God told King Hezekiah " (Jennifer) I have heard your prayers and I have seen your tears I am going to heal you" Is. 38:5 What I read he wasn't talking to the king he was talking to me!! When we sit and cry over whatever is going on in our lives (our storms or highs) mostly in our storms God comes in to take our side to stand with us, and he is care full noting each tear. It is the pain full life situation though when we suffer that we are most likely yo find God's hand reaching to wipe our tears away. Even though AI have had these storms I have found a way to praise His name in other areas of my life, and I know that God is telling me to continue to praise His name in a storm or on a super amazing day, and my blessings will come. I know that it is ok to have a pity party and God will let me do that a throw a hissy fit, because He loves me, and when I am done acting like a 2 year old I know I can run into His arms and He will hold me a give me answers. He promises in Rev 21:5 that He will wipe away every tear on the wonderful day when he also makes everything new!! I know my new is coming because He promised me that 2 weeks ago. Know that our tears either will drive us further into darkness of our own pity party or make us run into Gods loving arms, but it is our choice which road we take.So if you are battling with some of these "storms" of life even though it is the hardest thing to do because all you want to do is throw yourself on the ground and kick your feet and say "IT IS NOT FAIR", but give it to God, rest in the truth that He holds our future in His hands, and we have nothing to worry about, and if you feel like you are in the desert it is ok to cry because God will make rivers of your tears in your desert to give you life!!!

Can't have a rainbow with out a storm before it, but that rainbow is right around the corner!! :)

1 Peter 4:12-13 (The Message)
Glory Just Around the Corner

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

Major life events have been happening right around for a good few months, but God has really stopped me in my tracks and has say HOLD UP!! Yep thats right that is how he said it!! I have had those feelings (as a lot of us do) when things aren't going right it means God doesn't care, well I am here to tell you today that is not the truth!!! Yesterday I went to God with a very special request and well he answered it and it hurt yes and I am in the mist of a storm that has been brewing for awhile, but I see a rainbow in my near future and God is standing at the end of it! Yep you guessed it God is my pot of gold!! My reward!! I am done with my pitty party, bcause anything that I am going through God has already suffered for me and I forget to realize that and I have to stop having the me me me syndrome and focus on the bigger picture. God is putting me through this dry season for a reason and I have finally come to terms with that. God spoke to me twice this morning through a song and through the verse above. The song is by Tenth Avenue North called You Are More Here are the lyrics.

There's a girl in the corner With tear stains on her eyes From the places she's wandered And the shame she can't hide She says, "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. And I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love" But don't you know who you are, What's been done for you? Yeah don't you know who you are? You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade. Well she tries to believe it That she's been given new life But she can't shake the feeling That it's not true tonight She knows all the answers And she's rehearsed all the lines And so she'll try to do better But then she's too weak to try But don't you know who you are? You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade. You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade. 'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to This is not about what you feel, But what He felt to forgive you, And what He felt to make you loved. You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade. You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade. You've been remade You've been remade. You've been remade. You've been remade

I have been remade and I have to remember, that the choices I have made or will make in the future God already knows before it even takes place. Therefore I am once again recommiting myself to the Lord He is my father and he had me under his wing. HE IS MY POT OF GOLD!!! :)

I am one beautiful woman!!!

Jeremiah 1:5 (The Message)
"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you:A prophet to the nations that's what I had in mind for you."

WOW!!! I have had major break though today with some self esteem/ rejection issues I didn't realize I was dealing with. After reading this verse I really felt the love that God has for me on a different level. For the first time in I think forever I was able to look in the mirror and see myself as God sees me. He has always seen me this way because he shaped me, but I never have because I have always been rejected or criticized for my looks. Today was the first day I was able to look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman. God has been preparing me for this day for the last 3 weeks, every week in the past 3 weeks someone or multiple people have come up to me and tell me that I am getting more and more beautiful each week and they can't figure out why. Well I know why because God has been allowing me to see me the way He looks at me and what he thinks of me. He is giving me a second change with my body and I am taking care of it, and I am defiantly seeing a change. It helps when you are able to look at yourself and can actually say I am beautiful, instead of the enemy tell you that you are fat, no one will ever want to be with you because you are ugly, etc... etc.... etc....

From this say on I will not let the enemy creep in and know that I am a beautiful woman on the inside and out, and I will not let that be taken away from me because God sees me this was!! Because formed me in my mothers womb knowing every step I talk in my life cause he has plan for my life!!!!

I can walk on water, can you??

Hebrews 11:1

Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it.

So I have been going through a big period of change in the last month some good some bad, but all done in faith praying that God will show me the reason for what has been going on. God has been telling me to expect the unexpected, at first I was alittle up tight about those words since I have been dealing with the unexpected already and the out come was not all gum drops and candy! Needless to say I have been pretty open to this word that He has spoken to me and was also confirmed though my leader, after her telling me that God has been tell her the same thing, before I even told her. So I ask God what do I really need to do to see this amazing thing happen (whatever it is going to be) and this is what He gave me. He told me to have faith and make every opportunity count!! So I start to think and question, and came up with "I want to, but I've never had the opportunity", "I tried to once, but it didn't work out" or "No thanks, I'm fine where I'm at." God said, "No get out of your comfort zone!!!" The song pops into my head Highway to the danger Zone!! :) but I know God will not lead me to any unsafe ground, as long as I have the faith to listen to Him. He also said to me it is very possible the action would involve a dramatic and significant change in everything you know to be "rational." It may alter the way you live your life. It may mean doing something that makes no worldly sense whatsoever. So I am like ok God I am almost all the way there since I have altered a lot in the last month, but God has something more than I can ever imagine in store, and I know this because He lead me to Matt 14:29 and it says Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. So what I am feeling now is God telling me "You have had faith with the things you have given to me in the last month, but I want you to walk on water and no become afraid like Peter did and sink, you need to stay a float and know that I am going to give you great things when you walk across the water to me." WOW powerful stuff I know!!Looking back, there have been times where I have failed to make a decision because I was trying to think through each option too much, wanting to see down both roads, not wanting to make a mistake, even though I "knew" the direction I should take. Other times, I was afraid to act, worrying about "what others would think" or what "might" happen if I did. Well I am telling you now I am not that girl anymore!! I am a Godly woman and if my dad is telling me to walk on water I am!!!! So I am ending with this sometimes, the opportunity may seem to be impossible or unimaginable. The offer may seem ridiculous and absurd from a worldly perspective. Sometimes it will be accompanied by nervousness or fear. However, His timing will be amazingly perfect and come with little effort on your part. AMEN!!!!! I can walk on water, Can you???

Watch your words!!!

Proverbs 18:21 The Message

Words kill, words give life, they're either poison or fruit- you choose.

Something is growing inside of me, and I don't mean a baby (cause there is NO way for that to be) but something spiritually. I know that this has come from a teaching I had last week on vision. It has really made me think about the things in my life. Last night I had a dream I was pregnant a very REAL dream on top of that. So this morning of course I start asking God for answers since last night before I went to be I asked God to give me dreams of my future, and this what I got. Yes I do want another child one day, but I wasn't expecting this dream, and I know it was from God because lately I haven't been dreaming at all. So needless to say I was very confused about the dream. So I prayed and still no answer, then I was talking with my girlfriend at work and told her about the dream and also told her about something I heard on Joyce Meyer yesterday. She was saying " God will not bless you with something that you are jealous that someone else has" WOW I know that I don't act jealous about some things, but my words sometimes can prove different even though they are not harsh. God convicted me of this for example saying, "Wow they always get blessed, when will it be my turn?" "I wish I had a husband like yours" seems harmless right?? That's what I thought till I heard this and then God took me right to Proverbs 18:21 So like I said before I prayed before I went to sleep, but after that prayer I heard God telling me that there is a new season right around the corner, and almost had a feeling of God planting something in me, and since I had to die to something big in my life it only makes since that something new is going to bloom (hey it is spring time!!). So then my dream made sense to me!! God HAS planted something inside of me and I am pregnant with something spiritually. Soon and I mean REAL soon by April 16th something is going to be birthed out of me and it is going to be something AMAZING and it is going to be something I will not expect!! Even though I have seen the enemy lurking around lately, I know it is a test and guess what temptation IS NOT going to get the best of me!! I have repented for my words and know that this will open up a lot of things in my life. God did not promise it was going to be easy He just promised it would be worth it!!

Rough Seas Made Calm!!

Jonah 1:4-15 (New Century Version)
4 But the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, which made the sea so stormy that the ship was in danger of breaking apart.5 The sailors were afraid, and each man cried to his own god. They began throwing the cargo from the ship into the sea to make the ship lighter. But Jonah had gone down far inside the ship to lie down, and he fell fast asleep.6 The captain of the ship came and said, "Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray to your god! Maybe your god will pay attention to us, and we won't die!" 7 Then the men said to each other, "Let's throw lots to see who caused these troubles to happen to us." then they threw lots, the lot showed that the trouble had happened because of Jonah.8 Then they said to him, "Tell us, who caused our trouble? What is your job? Where do you come from? What is your country? Who are your people?" 9 Then Jonah said to them, "I am a Hebrew. I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land." 10 The men were very afraid, and they asked Jonah, "What terrible thing did you do?" (They knew he was running away from the Lord because he had told them.) 11 Since the wind and the waves of the sea were becoming much stronger, they said to him, "What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?" 12 Jonah said to them, "Pick me up, and throw me into the sea, and then it will calm down. I know it is my fault that this great storm has come on you." 13 Instead, the men tried to row the ship back to the land, but they could not, because the sea was becoming more stormy. 14 So the men cried to the Lord, "Lord, please don't let us die because of this man's life; please don't think we are guilty of killing an innocent person. Lord, you have caused all this to happen; you wanted it this way."15 So they picked up Jonah and threw him into the sea, and the sea became calm.

So there is nothing like asking God to show up and Him exceeding your expectations!! There are many things that the enemy has been attacking me with this week and of course it is all because God was was about to break something BIG in me. If you have read my devotions from this week you will remember God has been promising something BIG and I believe this is the beginning!! When reading through this book today at the re-encounter God gave me revelation, and it wasn't until the last 2 teachings until everything connected. There are 2 verses that really stick out to me that is verse 5 and 15. Here's how it all relates to things in my life that I have been now set free of. Verse 5 says The sailors were afraid, and each man cried to his own god. They began throwing the cargo from the ship into the sea to make the ship lighter. But Jonah had gone down far inside the ship to lie down, and he fell fast asleep. How many times have we been in a "storm" and we start throwing things out of our life that we think will help or we try to take care of the storm by ourselves without seeking counsel, and what happens?? The storm is usually still there and keeps on getting bigger and bigger right?? We go don't into the boat where it is comfortable and we sleep while the storms of our life turn into hurricanes, when we really need to wake up and attack the storm have faith that God's grave will get us out of what ever storm we are in. We tend to think if we change this or change that everything will be ok, but it is the Jonahs in our lives we need out. and that goes right along with verse 15 So they picked up Jonah and threw him into the sea, and the sea became calm. We need to stop looking for a quick fix in our lives and look for the root then cut it off, we need to see what we need to sacrifice in our lives to bring glory to God, we need to live our lives in faith. I always get a vision of someone preparing for a fight, you don't just go into a fight without training, you train daily for the big fight. What we need to do daily is always be training for a fight our "storm" because we never know how or when it will come, and we always have to be ready. So what is it that you are willing to throw into the ocean for your seas to calm?? Once you have that thing, person, idol etc...... throw it to the sea, and be free. So start playing the rocky them and start throwing things off the boat while shadow boxing the next storm that may come!! :)

Going to War!!

Ephesians 6:11-17 The Message

So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.
13-18Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon.

Eph 6:16 The Shield of Faith

It has been brought to my attention that somethings in my life that I have ben thinking were actually lies from the enemy, and the sad thing is that I wasn't aware enough that they were because it was something I was so comfortable with. So after this was brought to my attention God brought this word to mind for me.

The Shield of Faith is what protects us from the firey darts of the enemys harsh words or not so harsh words what sometimes can sneek in. I see the harsh words (ex. you'll NEVER ______insert lie here) as the firey darts that come right in past a shield during a war, and the not to harsh words (ex. no one will understand me) like the embers that may sneek in and start out like a small fire and turn into a massive fire. Our faith is something that has to be up at all times, because the minute we let down our guard that is when bombs or embers start flying our way. So I started to think about faith, we use faith everyday. For exaple we have faith then when we sit ina chair it will support us, we eat food in faith that it won't posion us. If we have faith in everyday situations, why would we have faith in God? The one who knew you before your were born, the one that number each one of our hairs? Our faith in God and in the truth of His word is more important and reliable than the practical everyday faith by what we live by, because God is powerful and depentable.

Col 6:7 The Message

You're deeply rooted in him. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you've been taught. School's out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.

So even though at times we feel like we are at war with the ememy I am talking all out battel with bobms and bullets because sometimes his words and actions make us feel like we have been hit by them. We need to place our faith and full confidence in the promises of God. So when it all boils down to it Gos is looking for faithfull obedient warriors who are willing to believe and trust in Him in the heat of a battel of life, when circumstances seem hopeless and when all others around you have given up. Have the faith that God will get you through it.

Faith is only as reliable as the trustworthiness of it's subject!!!