Storms of Life

You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights. Each tear entered in your ledger each ache written in your book. Psalm 56:8 The Message

The last month has been pretty much been a up and down roller coaster of emotions from happy, to sad, to hurt, to joy. You name it I have been on the ride, some rides more bumpy than others. Sometimes I feel like I am at the old state fair and sometimes I feel like I am at Disney. I think you get the picture. It wasn't until today that the 2 main things I have been dealing with kind of just all hit me at once like a ton of bricks and since the time I got up, during my morning prayer time, and till the time I got to work I was crying. During my prayer time today was the first time ever that I got mad at God (yes I asked for forgiveness) I am sure that I made for quite the sight to be driving next to this morning. I questioned him with no answer of course because I wouldn't of been able to handle it at the time and would of just not listened, but I said God, "why?" "why so you bring me though these storms?" and better yet, "why do my storms seem to come together and make bigger storms?" " and why on some days my life is a cake walk with out a cloud in sight?" Yes my life for the past month has been like FL weather wonderful one day then 2 days of rain! So still with no answer, I still remained a little down today, but knowing that God has told me something BIG is about to happen to you and it is going to blow your mind I have kept that close to my heart!!! So this afternoon I turn on the radio and hear Casting Crowns "praise you in this storm" I knew God was speaking to me AT THAT MOMENT!!! It says every tear I cry I hold you hold in your hand! Then that's when I started studying, because I knew that it was in the bible, and BINGO Psalm 56:8 and the funny thing is I have had tossing and turning sleepless nights along with the crying for a month. So now you can see why my little light bulb has gone off now, God finally can speak to me because I am ready and of course it is through music like always!! God told King Hezekiah " (Jennifer) I have heard your prayers and I have seen your tears I am going to heal you" Is. 38:5 What I read he wasn't talking to the king he was talking to me!! When we sit and cry over whatever is going on in our lives (our storms or highs) mostly in our storms God comes in to take our side to stand with us, and he is care full noting each tear. It is the pain full life situation though when we suffer that we are most likely yo find God's hand reaching to wipe our tears away. Even though AI have had these storms I have found a way to praise His name in other areas of my life, and I know that God is telling me to continue to praise His name in a storm or on a super amazing day, and my blessings will come. I know that it is ok to have a pity party and God will let me do that a throw a hissy fit, because He loves me, and when I am done acting like a 2 year old I know I can run into His arms and He will hold me a give me answers. He promises in Rev 21:5 that He will wipe away every tear on the wonderful day when he also makes everything new!! I know my new is coming because He promised me that 2 weeks ago. Know that our tears either will drive us further into darkness of our own pity party or make us run into Gods loving arms, but it is our choice which road we take.So if you are battling with some of these "storms" of life even though it is the hardest thing to do because all you want to do is throw yourself on the ground and kick your feet and say "IT IS NOT FAIR", but give it to God, rest in the truth that He holds our future in His hands, and we have nothing to worry about, and if you feel like you are in the desert it is ok to cry because God will make rivers of your tears in your desert to give you life!!!